I haven't felt beautiful in a long time. Especially since joining facebook and viewing the pictures of so many gorgeous women. Actually, I used to rate myself as being at least an 8 but these days with so many signs of age and day to day stress my self-rating has gotten lower and lower...
But the problem is that I am too focused on externals. Having a healthy lifestyle is important not killing myself to be thin = beautiful. I could live out the rest of my life and be volumptous and I would have to be content with that. But I can't live the rest of my life, comparing myself to the airbrushed and flawless individuals that mirror society's view of beauty.
I must not let this lifestyle change be a well-cloaked term to mean lose weight = feel great. I have to focus on inner beauty more importantly and I have to develop the habit of loving myself enough to want to take care of my body. The inner transformation will enable the outer.
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I am blessed. I made it to day 21. Lost 16lbs. I'm gaining muscle and hydration and lossing fat percentage. I completely understand how it feels to find so much wrong with yourself. But God made us all beautiful. I focus on goals that pertain to my education, my childs developemental growth, and my walk with God. As that changes and grows stronger then I feel more self confident and more powerful and also More Beautiful. The best way I heard it said was the sderinity prayer: (not verbatim) Lord grant me thr serinity to accept the things that I can not change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference! Amen.
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